Thumbs Down

Much like Julie Powell (Julie & Julia) and A.J. Jacobs (The Year of Living Biblically) before him, Michael Adams has picked one thing to do for a whole year so we don't have to. The film critic has gone where no man, woman or other sane person should: He watched one wretched movie every day in hopes of finding The Worst Movie Ever Made. And since this is January, aka Hollywood's annual dumping ground for bad movies (COUGH Leap Year COUGH), what better time to read about his search for film history's most indefensible, regrettable production ever, in Showgirls, Teen Wolves and Astro Zombies (out January 19). 

 

His quest begins with junk-cinema's gold standard, Showgirls and — amazingly — goes downhill from there. The usual suspects (Mommie Dearest, Battlefield Earth, and Pia Zadora's Golden Globe and Razzie winner Butterfly) are accounted for, but it's the obscure disasters, like 1984's Black Devil Doll — in which a virgin becomes a raving nymphomaniac after being ravaged by her dreadlocked wooden puppet — that steal the show. 

 

No spoiling the "winner," but let's just say that Adams is a hilarious sherpa on this journey to the rotted center of the earth, shuffling us past the mind-numbing, forgettable detritus strewn in our path while pausing for jaw-dropping, so-bad-they're-glorious highlights (the lead in Welcome Home, Brother Charles strangles people with his penis from across the room), all while proving to readers that sifting through trash can be one hell of a good time, as long as someone else is doing the dirty work.

 

 

Showgirls, Teen Wolves and Astro Zombies will be available January 19 from It Books.